My Bizarre Christmas Present


One year my brother had me unwrap layers and layers of paper and box after box, only to reveal a rather anticlimactic gift in the center: a toilet paper-wrapped onion. I thought nothing could top that.

I was wrong.

He was my “secret Santa” this year and managed to find this.


Cracker bread? Cracker board? What is that?

Most food packaging comes pretty pictures indicating serving suggestions; you know, cereal with milk, black beans made into soup, etc.

No serving suggestions on this package.

I wonder, is it actually edible?


My dog found it one night. He opened it a bit, but did not eat it.

Did you get that? Not even my dog would eat it!!

I wonder if it is biodegradable? Should I try to compost it? Drill a hole in the middle and use it to keep cutworms off my vegetables? It certainly would discourage weed growth.

My mom recommended that I melt some cheese on it. Cheese makes everything better, right?


Any other bright ideas? I’d love to hear them-I hate to waste food, but I’m not quite sure what to do with this.

What is the most bizarre gift that you have ever received?

Note: He did really well on my other gifts, but I’d rather not have to use my massage gift certificate to de-stress myself over this cracker corkboard!

Happy New Year! My January garden to-do list will be posted soon-Florida gardening is awesome!


4 responses »

  1. With the holidays coming to a close, I am anxious to start working on my spring gardening to do list. Unfortunately here in Michigan there’s not much else to do in the garden until then. Happy New Year.

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